Tech: “i didn’t wake up today thinking, ‘hey, it’d be great to get yelled at by some old man today’, so this is what i’m gonna do. i’m gonna put my mute button on for five minutes and i’m just gonna let you yell your heart out. go ahead and scream and vent- it’s cool! i’m gonna go to the bathroom and get some coffee, and i’ll get back to you when you’ve chilled out..”

*one minute mark*


*two minute mark*

Customer: “.. no, I’m serious. this guy just left to go take a crap.. no for real. he just told me he was going to crap, and wanted me to yell..”

*four minute mark*

Customer: *whistling showtunes and nursery rhymes*


Customer [6:01:13 AM]: what the minuim age for this because i am currently 17
Tech [6:03:57 AM]: 18
Customer [6:04:22 AM]: do you check
Tech [6:04:43 AM]: Yes, we have a verification department that examines every new account.
Customer [6:05:24 AM]: can you tell me how you tell
Tech [6:07:28 AM]: I don’t know, because I’m not verifications. I’m sales and support.
Customer [6:08:03 AM]: will i get refunded if i get catch
Tech [6:09:13 AM]: Yes.
Customer [6:09:26 AM]: cool
Customer [6:09:35 AM]: thank for ur time
Customer [6:09:50 AM]: i will not be making an account ;)

Oh the irony…

Customer [1:43:14 AM]: hi,dear sir,my site have been got the trouble of cockhorse,please help me to solve it online,thanks

*Note:  After 15 minutes of prodding and goading coworker finally made the connection when the customer posted him some malicious code on his site.  A “Cockhorse” is a trojan virus.  Go figure!