At the Wrong Place and Out of Luck

Tech: Thank you for using our real-time chat support. My responses may be delayed at times since I do work with multiple people at one time. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

Customer: When I use my outlook express and send a message, it stays in the outbox and continues to send the message over and over again. I also get an error box that pops up the the error does not have anything in the message box it just says error. My friend received the same e-mail 97 times. I have to go back into my outbox and delete the message to stop it from sending. I have called so many people and nobody including microsoft can help. Please help me if you can [Customer’s name]

Tech: What is your domain name?

Customer: [Gives her own name]

Tech: (example:

Customer: I have no idea. Am I supposed to be registerd on this site and then get one/

Tech: Unless you have hosting with [hosting co.] I’m afraid I cannot help you. If you do have hosting then you should have a domain name on your account that I can use to lookup the hosting account.

Customer: OK. I guess I am out of luck again.

Tangible, Chocolate, Domain Names

A hosting company offers domain privacy at a cost. This customer’s domain privacy expired and he came to us in confusion. Below is the conversation

Customer: What did I do to deserve this?

Tech: Hello,  We offer free Domain Privacy for the primary domain on the account. Any other domain on the account costs $[dollar amount] per year for domain privacy.

Customer: [Sir,]   If you can please tell me in what dimension domains actually exist – I will consider your request to renew my domain privacy. I understand the first 3 dimensions, and perhaps the 4th (time).   I don’t like to buy something without fully understanding where it exists.   Thank you,   [Customer]

Tech: Hello, Domains exist in a place called Cyberspace. Here is a link that explains what they are and how they work:

Customer: Thank you. I think I am more comfortable now with the idea of cyberspace. Before I decide on my purchase, I just have one remaining question please: Are there smells in cyberspace? Both good one (i.e. roses, chocolate) and bad ones (i.e. farts, old socks).?

Tech: Cyberspace is just the place where the 1s and 0s exists so that our computers will talk to each other.  So since it is just 1s and 0s I would doubt there would be smells.

Customer: Thanks, Now I understand a bit better. That said, are there any domain names that may be ticklish?

Tech: Negative. It’s a digital world where things don’t have substance.   Thank you,

Customer: If I purchase the domain names of all the ingredients for a particular dish (i.e.,,,,,, – do I also, without paying extra, own (which these ingredients make)?

Tech: Nope. Each domain is separate. Nice thought, though.

ID-on’t know what ID is!

Tech: Ok. Then we will need you to send in a scanned copy of the hosting account holder’s government issued ID (like a driver’s license or passport) to [emailaddress]

Customer: what means hosting account???
Customer: a copy of the id of the property card???

Tech: I mean the hosting account that you are speaking of, []. The ID I mean is the identity card of the person who owns the hosting account.

Customer: a copy of the identity card of the owner of the card??

Tech: No. Of the owner of the hosting account. The name on the account is yours.

Customer: i am the owner of the account,and i am the owner of []

Tech: Then we will need your ID.

Customer: then my id card????

Tech: Yes.

Customer: ok no prob
Customer: i have to send it by mail????
Customer: can u give me the adress

Tech: email to [emailaddress]

Customer: email
Customer: i don’t have to send the id the owner of the card,my uncle
Customer: ????

Tech: No. We need YOUR id.

Tech to Tech Example Chat


Tech: Welcome to our real-time support chat. I assist multiple customers at once, so patience is appreciated. How can I help you today?

Customer: Are you a real person or a bot?

Tech: I am a bot, but I am so good, I’m as good as any real person.

Customer: What’s 4+7-3?

Tech: 8

Customer: What is the capital of Italy?


Customer: asdlue asdotiu dpondauxaeoi

Tech: I don’t speak French

Some Buttons are Too Complicated to Click

Tech: You will need to reset the mysql password from the “reset mysql password” icon in the cpanel and use that password to login to phpmyadmin

Customer: I don’t understand all of this. Can I start from scratch by cancelling my account, getting a new account with a new domain name and going from there. What you are asking me to do sounds too complicated.

Catchup on Email

Tech: basically you want a catch-all account so someone could enter a non-real email address and it would be forwarded to a real email address?

Customer: that is call catchup, yes
do you provide that service?

Tech: unfortunately no, we do not provide catchup email accounts